Reasons Why Marriages Are Breaking Up Today 

Reasons Why Marriages Are Breaking Up Today

  • Limited sex education being given to these about to get married has made married couples to make mistakes in marriage hence divorce.
  • Limited period of courtship where people do not get to know each other well before marriage has also led to marriage break ups.
  • Increased drug abuse and alcoholism especially among men have annoyed their wives leading to marriage break ups.
  • Poverty and the high cost of living have also made wives tired of their husbands hence divorcing them and looking for rich men.
  • Declining African cultures today has made people not to value marriage hence breaking up very fast
  • The women Liberation movement and their demand for their rights and equality has made men tired of their wives hence divorce.
  • Permissiveness where people today are free to do whatever they want has made married tired of them hence divorce.
  • Unfaithfulness/marital infidelity where the partners cheat on themselves sexually has also led to marriage breakups.
  • Lack of sexual satisfaction among married partners has made marriage meaningless and unless leading to its breaking up.
  • Lack of respect and trust for each other in marriage has made the partners suspicious of each other leading to marriage instabilities.
  • Too much work where the partners ‘don’t give themselves enough time has contributed to marriage break ups.
  • Barrenness on the side of women and impotence on the side of men have made marriage useless leading to divorce.
  • Producing of single sex children and children with disabilities has made most men divorce their wives thus ending marriage.
  • Political instabilities in the world today have made partners to run away for safety thus ending up a banding their marriages.

1. Give the reasons for the high levels of marriage break ups in the society today. (12 marks) Approach

The question wants reasons for the high levels of divorce cases today.

Courtship in Traditional African Society
  • Courtship refers to close or intimate relationship between a man and woman who are mutually attracted to each other with the intention of getting married.
  • Or   It is the period which the couple spends studying one another before the get married/ before actual marriage.

In African traditional society, courtship was spent following a number of aspects, rules and regulations as seen below:

  • After getting a girl of desirable qualities the man was supposed to inform the parents about the new catch he had got.
  • The girl could also inform her parents about her love with the boy in order to seek for their advice and blessings.
  • The parents of the boy would now meet the parents of the parents of the girl to allow the boy date their daughter.
  • The man and his family were then expected to inform the whole community about their courtship intention with that girl.
  • The couple intending to get married was not allowed to meet and talk directly to the each other but a middle man was got for this.
  • Courtship was the time that those intending to get married went through initiation e.g. in Buganda the girl had to visit the bush at this time if she had not pulled.
  • It was the time when those wanting to marry looked for marriage size to confirm whether the two really love themselves.
  • During courtship, the boy and the girl would be sent for another round of serious sex education in preparation for actual marriage.
  • It was during courtship that both families tried to find out the health of their children i.e. no family wished their child to marry a sick person.
  • It was during courtship that the boy’s family struggled to look for bride wealth demanded by the girl’s family.
  • It was time when the couple researched about each other in matters concerning hard work, cleanliness, obedience and general discipline.
  • A number of rituals were also performed during courtship and this was aimed at preparing the couple for marriage e.g. cleansing ritual among the Banyoro.
  • During courtship, wedding clothes for the girl were prepared e.g. a gomasi, ear rings bangles beads to wear around the neck and lower abdomen in order to look beautiful on the stage.
  • It was the time when the boy would be assisted by the elders to plan for the future because he was no longer a child but an adult. 

1. Explain the ways in which courtship was conducted in African traditional society

Values/ Importance of Courtship In traditional African Society

  • Courtship resulted into good choices of marriage partners which made marriage exist with less challenges.
  • It also made marriage stable since the couple had due appreciation for each other before getting married.
  • It bought joy of love and intimacy among the couples through exchange of gifts.
  • Courtship enabled the couple to learn the behavior of one another before marriage.
  • It provided for parental participation in determination of the marriage partners of their children.
  • Courtship was used to shape the morals of the unmarried into good people. ie during courtship, the unmarried were counseled and guided-morally.
  • It helped to promote virginity among girls because it was one of the qualities looked by the boy.
  • The practice of courtship led to respect and promotion of African cultural values because a lot of cultural ideas were passed on to the unmarried.
  • Courtship made marriage meaningful, respected and admired by many people in the society.
  • It helped to reduce and prevent cases of incest among partners because they got to know each other thoroughly well.
  • It enabled the two parties i.e. the family of the boy and that of the girl to negotiate and appreciate bride price.
  • The courtship that took a long time enabled the couples to plan for their marriage in advance.
  • It promoted permanence in marriage since the couple got married when they knew themselves.
  • It promoted trust and faithfulness among partners because of knowing themselves well.
  • Due to courtship, the married partners respected one another and they were loyal to each other.
  • It enabled the partners to know and appreciate each other’s interests in life and personal weakness and strengths.
  • Courtship was a public declaration that a person had moved from childhood to Adulthood.
  • It enabled the couples to receive blessings from the parents because they would be involved in courtship process.

1. Discuss the values that were attached to courtship in African tradition. (13 marks) Approach:

The question wants the importance of courtship as it was carried out in African traditional society.

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